This blog is for those who want to know the scriptural reasons for divorce. It does not explain away the numerous reasons why people get divorced. Nor does it go into the extra biblical remedies that people use to justify or legally nullify a divorce.
Divorce in Almost All Cases Is Sin
Before we launch into Scripture, let’s start with the basics. We live in a fallen world. People make holy covenants that they later realize were mistakes. And then, whether out of lack of faith or perceived necessity, they break these holy covenants. This is SIN. And sin includes “partial” mistakes, lack of knowledge, errant wishful thinking and anything else where we fall short of our utter reliance upon God.
When we break a Holy Covenant, it does not matter that one party is much more to blame than the other. Or that one party is a physical abuser and the other an innocent young maiden. Breaking a marriage covenant always equals sin. This sounds very harsh… and it seems so monumentally unfair. But it’s also a spiritual reality. For most of us, Scripture offers no easy way out here.
So we are left with three choices:
- Obey Scripture
- Disregard Scripture, or
- Twist Scripture to say whatever we want to hear (so we can rest on our own righteousness rather than God’s Holiness and Grace).
What Is a Covenant Marriage?
In Genesis 2:18–24, God declares it is not good for man to be alone. He then makes a suitable helper for him and ordains that a man leave his father and mother, be joined to his wife, and the two become one flesh, establishing marriage as a unique one-flesh union.
In Malachi 2:14–16, God rebukes husbands who deal treacherously with “the wife of your youth,” calling her “your companion and your wife by covenant.” God then proclaims that He hates divorce, emphasizing that marriage is a covenant relationship God Himself witnesses.
Jesus Teaching on the Marriage Covenant—Marriage Is God’s Joining & Not To Be Broken Lightly
In Matthew 19:3–6 (parallel Mark 10:6–9) – Jesus cites Genesis 1 and 2, saying God made them male and female and that a man leaves his parents, is joined to his wife, and the two become one flesh; He concludes, “What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
This passage above nullified the Old Testament exceptions found in Deuteronomy 24:1, which allowed a man to divorce his wife because of “some indecency.” In fact, the rabbinic School of Hillel took this on steroids. They even made a list of what indecencies could actually justify breaking up the marriage. These heinous offenses included:
- Poor Cooking: If the wife burned or over-salted the food.
- Appearance: If the woman lost her attractiveness or he found a younger/more beautiful woman.
- Behavioral/Social Issues: If she was a “noisy woman” (noisy within the house), spoke too openly with other men, went out with her hair loose, or did not keep her vows.
- Religious/Domestic Failings: If she caused her husband to eat food that had not been properly tithed.
Jesus saw right through their wicked, hard hearts and immediately quashed these errant beliefs. At this time, Jesus could have given us many reasons for divorce. But instead, He offered only one reason. In Matthew 5:31–32, He states plainly that “anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”
Jesus then shows that the same standard for men also applies to women. In Mark 10:11–12, He says that “whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her, and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”
So the bottom line is that either spouse commits adultery if they divorce and remarry for any other reason than their spouse’s sexual immorality.
What Is Sexual Immorality? Is It the Same as Adultery?
The short answer is NO. The word in Scripture is “Pornea” which includes adultery but is not limited to such.
“Porneia (Strong’s Greek 4202) denotes all forms of sexual activity outside the covenant of marriage as ordained by God between one man and one woman. Its range embraces pre-marital intercourse, prostitution, adultery, homosexual practice, incest, and any other distortion of God’s design for sexuality.”
Based on this definition above, sexual immorality could include the sexual abuse of children even when there was no sexual intercourse. However, it does not include things like non-sexual physical abuse which means the latter is not a biblical excuse for divorce.
This doesn’t mean it’s immoral for a spouse to protect their kids or to move away from the abuser. Nor is it unbiblical to seek a restraining order or to press criminal charges against this person. However, there is no New Testament support that physical abuse alone is grounds for divorce. The same goes with divorce based on emotional abuse. As Scripture shows below, in most cases, if a spouse leaves the other, they must stay celebate or reconcile. There are few green lights to marry someone else.
Divorce For Abandonment? Can a Christian Woman Remarry Without Committing Adultery if Her Non-Christian Spouse Abandons Her?
In my view, Scripture is unclear on this matter. And in any event, it only applies in a very specific situation where the abandoning spouse is a non-believer.
In 1 Corinthians 7:10, the Apostle Paul says: “To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.”
Paul then goes into what happens if a believing woman marries a non-Christian who then leaves her. In verse 15 he says, “if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.”
So what does “not bound” mean here? It’s unclear if she is free to remarry or not. Perhaps this means only that she is free not to reconcile with him. However, since this was already said in 7:10 above, perhaps “not bound” could mean she is free to remarry without this being considered adultery. But whatever the case, this does not support divorce and remarriage for abandonment in general. It applies only when a Christian is abandoned by a non-Christian.
But What About Other Verses in the Old Testament That Imply Divorce Is OK for “Failure To Provide” or for Other Reasons?
Currently, many books abound on this subject, often citing obscure Old Testament passages to justify divorce. However, we must remember that while all Scripture is God-breathed and instructive, not all Scripture remains in force today. Otherwise, we would still be under all 613 commandments of Levitical law.
Context is king. We cannot cherry pick from the Old Testament whenever we’re unhappy with the New Testament. And here, sexual immorality is the only clear escape hatch which allows us to both divorce our spouse and to remarry someone else—at least while our ex-spouse remains alive.
What Does This Mean for People Who Divorced and Remarried When Their Divorce Was Not for Biblical Reasons?
Many people divorce without a biblical reason and then remarry. And many rightfully wonder if they committed adultery when they remarried. The biblical answer here is YES.
We can’t prettify Scripture to say things that it doesn’t say. Nor can we gloss over the things that it clearly does say. It takes courage to be honest with ourselves… and to be honest with the Lord. We must acknowledge that God is holy, our sin is very real and that we can never meet His Standard on our own merits. We have to trust the Lord for who He is and to face this issue head on. Anything else is just more sin!
But this is not the whole story and it never was. The Bible is filled with God’s Grace and mercy. Scripture has so much grace, that it even provides for us when we’ve clearly done things wrong!
For example: Scripture prohibits a person from returning to their original spouse when they or their spouse has already remarried. (Deuteronomy 24:1-4). Scripture even shows God’s grace to people who have had multiple marriages! You don’t believe me? Fine: Let’s talk about the Samaritan woman at the well!
How God Used the Woman at the Well (God’s Grace in Action)
In the Gospel of John (4:4–42), Jesus meets a Samaritan woman at Jacob’s well, asks her for a drink despite her being a Samaritan, and then reveals His divine knowledge by referring to her five husbands and her current extra-marital relationship.
So did Jesus condemn her for this? Or did He instead loudly proclaim that this is OK because it’s a fallen world and these sins are commonplace? The answer to both of these questions is NO. Jesus did neither. Jesus knew full well she was a sinner. And so did the woman herself.
Jesus was not there to make light of her sin. Nor was He there to condemn her for such! Instead, He had something far better to offer. Jesus wanted her to recognize He was the Messiah. And that He is the way, the truth and the life! So He lifted up this wretched sinner so she could joyously tell the whole village about His coming. And to announce that the time has finally come “when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth.”
Two thousand years later, this is what we remember her for! Few dare scorn her as a sinner. Rather, we rejoice as she rejoiced. We delight in her story because this was a woman who Jesus showed His mercy to… and to whom Jesus proclaimed His mighty Name!
What was true back then is still true now. We are not defined by our past. We are defined by our relationship with Jesus! So let us be like the Samaritan woman and constantly rejoice in Him.
Did you divorce your spouse for a non-biblical reason and now want to remarry? Talk to Jesus! Don’t twist Scripture to say it’s OK when it’s not. Instead, throw yourself on His mercy and His grace. Trust Him in His wisdom and His goodness, and be sure to abide in His presence all the way!
Just like with the woman at the well, Jesus will meet you on an intimate level. He will show you your next steps. That’s just who our God is. Jesus is up close and personal. He lavishly rewards those who seek the truth. As Jesus Himself says in Matt. 5:6. “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, because they will be satisfied.” So let’s take Him at His word here! He is our righteousness. He is the way, the truth and the life! We are to hunger and thirst for Him more than anything else. Yes, there may be no easy answers. But Jesus will glorify Himself and take you with Him…if you trust Him.
Christian Music
- Singing Over Me (Building 424)
- Who I Am (Ben Fuller)
- Sing of Your Love (Elevation Rhythm)
- Run To The Father (Cody Carnes)
Other Christian-SOS Blogs
Interesting. I believe adultery is still a biblical reason for divorce.
I like your exegesis and you leave room for the Holy Spirit to move within our failures, but you are not giving extra leeway that scripture doesn’t support