This blog is for those who want to know the scriptural reasons for divorce. It does not explain away the numerous reasons why people get divorced. Nor does it go into the extra biblical remedies that people use to justify or legally nullify a divorce.
Divorce in Almost All Cases Is Sin
Before we launch into Scripture, let’s start with the basics. We live in a fallen world. People make holy covenants that they later realize were mistakes. And then, whether out of lack of faith or perceived necessity, they break these holy covenants. This is SIN. And sin includes “partial” mistakes, lack of knowledge, errant wishful thinking and anything else where we fall short of utter reliance upon God.
When we break a Holy Covenant, it does not matter that one party is much more to blame than the other. Or that one party is a physical abuser and the other an innocent young maiden. Breaking a marriage covenant always equals sin. This sounds very harsh… and it seems so monumentally unfair. But it’s also a spiritual reality. Scripture offers no easy way out here.
So we are left with three choices:
- Obey Scripture
- Disregard Scripture, or
- Twist Scripture to say whatever we want to hear (so we can rest on our own righteousness rather than God’s Holiness and Grace).
What is the Covenant of Marriage?
In Genesis 2:18–24, God declares it is not good for man to be alone. He then makes a suitable helper for him and ordains that a man leave his father and mother, be joined to his wife, and the two become one flesh, establishing marriage as a unique one-flesh union.
In Malachi 2:14–16, God rebukes husbands who deal treacherously with “the wife of your youth,” calling her “your companion and your wife by covenant. God then says He hates divorce, emphasizing that marriage is a covenant relationship God Himself witnesses.
Jesus Teaching on the Marriage Covenant—Marriage is God’s Joining & Not to Be Broken Lightly
In Matthew 19:3–6 (parallel Mark 10:6–9) – Jesus cites Genesis 1 and 2, saying God made them male and female and that a man leaves his parents, is joined to his wife, and the two become one flesh; He concludes, “What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
This nullifies the Old Testament exceptions found in Deuteronomy 24:1, which the rabbinic School of Hillel claimed could allow for other indecencies. At that time, divorce for other indecencies included:
- Poor Cooking: If she burned or over-salted food.
- Appearance: If she lost her attractiveness or he found a younger/more beautiful woman.
- Behavioral/Social Issues: If she was a “noisy woman” (noisy within the house), spoke too openly with other men, went out with her hair loose, or did not keep her vows.
- Religious/Domestic Failings: If she caused her husband to eat food that had not been properly tithed.
Jesus saw through their hard hearts and immediately quashed these errant beliefs. Jesus could have suggested other reasons for divorce. But instead, He offered only one. In Matthew 5:31–32 He states plainly that “anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”
Jesus then shows that the same standard applies to women. In Mark 10:11–12 He says that “whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her, and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”
So the bottom line is that either spouse commits adultery if they divorce for any other reason than their spouse’s sexual immorality.
What Is Sexual Immorality? Is It the Same As Adultery?
The short answer is NO. The word in Scripture is “Pornea” which goes beyond your spouse having sex with someone else.
“Porneia (Strong’s Greek 4202) denotes all forms of sexual activity outside the covenant of marriage as ordained by God between one man and one woman. Its range embraces pre-marital intercourse, prostitution, adultery, homosexual practice, incest, and any other distortion of God’s design for sexuality.”
Based on this definition above, the sexual abuse of children could also qualify. But physcially beating them would not. This is not to say it’s immoral for a spouse to protect their kids or move to another house away from the abuser. Nor is it unblibical to seek legal redress against an abuser. However, there is no New Testament support that these are grounds for divorce. Same goes with divorce based on emotional abuse.
But What About Other Verses in the Old Testament That Imply Divorce Is OK For Lack of Provision or Abuse?
Currently, many books abound on this subject, often citing obscure Old Testament passages to justify divorce. However, we must remember that while all Scripture is God-breathed and instructive, not all Scripture remains in force today. Otherwise, we would still be under all 613 commandments of Levitical law.
Context is king. We can not pick and choose from the Old Testamant whenever we’re unhappy with what Jesus has made plain to us.