Many people think the opposite of love is hate. But I would argue that the opposite of love is indifference. Both love and hate are strong attachments. But indifference means there’s no attachment at all. Indeed, the dictionary defines indifference as “a total lack of interest, concern or sympathy.” Sadly, this describes more and more of us, especially with the advent of the smart phone. And this indifference has gotten much worse after the worldwide Covid pandemic.
Scripture says to love your neighbor. But how can we do this when at every opportunity, we try to ignore them? This too has real life consequences. When we shoot for the bare minimum, we often miss the mark. And we then find out that our bare minimum was never good enough to begin with.
Are We Too Busy To Love Our Neighbors?
Nowadays, we’re in constant information overload. We pack our life with a surplus of distractions. Every hour, we’re bombarded with more texts, more pings, more bleeps, more photos, and more news alerts than at any other point in history. We’re either watching movies on Netflix, Disney or Amazon, or we spend our time tracking our friends, our possessions, our money and what our pals are doing on Facebook.
Most of us take comfort that we’re basically good people. That amidst the chaos, we still take care of a close circle of friends and our immediate family. But what about the rest of the people? Do they matter? Or is it a free for all, so long as you’re not hurting anyone? Assuming of course that you can tell when you’re not hurting anyone.
Who Is Our Neighbor?
People may rightfully ask: So who is my neighbor? The answer is that your neighbor is anyone you have an influence over. It’s those people you meet every day. The people at the supermarket checkout counter, the people at your local Starbucks, the people at work and the people you see at the gas station, restaurant or convenience store. It’s also the drivers you share the road with.
Do we have any margins for these people? Do we care about their needs? Most of the time we barely greet them; often we won’t even look at them. And certainly, we’re not ready to do any favors for them. Deep down, we see them as a backdrop. At best, they distract us from our phones. At worst, they’re obstacles to navigate around.
Why Ignoring Our Neighbor Matters
We reap what we sow. On the one hand, we’re shocked at all the violence in our schools, the epidemic road rage and that so many aggressive drivers endanger our daily commute. But on the other hand, we’re just as eager to arrive home quickly, even if it means obstructing someone else who must get in front of us just to reach their own exit.
Is it any wonder that in just 4 years, the number of deadly accidents in the US rose by more than 16%? (from 36,835 fatal car crashes in 2018 to 42,795 fatal car crashes in 2022.) Or that road rage is on the rise in almost every state? Could it be that people are tailgating closer and speeding more frequently? Is our country as a whole losing its sense of “we’re all in this together? And it’s now showing up in more road fatalities and high school shootings?
I believe the answer is YES. And it will only get worse if we ignore it. We must love our neighbor now, or the chickens will come home to roost.
Creating the Extra Space To Love One Another
Jesus said we’re to love our neighbors like we love ourselves. This does not mean to treat our neighbors like they’re invisible, or like they don’t matter. Instead, we must look beyond ourselves and create a space for our neighbors. Even when they’re not our friends or family.
Practical Steps That Make a Difference but Cost Almost Nothing
Margins on the Road
Give other drivers space so they have room to make mistakes. Model what it’s like to care for a stranger as it shows others how to do the same.
- Budget enough time for traffic so you don’t have to drive like a maniac to get there.
- Don’t tailgate: Leave space for other cars to get in front of you, especially if you think they’re about to miss their exit.
- Don’t pace cars that are merging into your lane from an on ramp. Let them go ahead of you, at least some of the time!
- Allow people to change into your lane without racing to always be in front of them.
- Want to change into another lane? Prematurely put on your turn signal. (This often gets the car next to you to speed up and create the space you need.)
Margins for Extra $ or Gifts
- Carry real money in your purse or wallet (if safe to do so). Be ready to meet a stranger in need.
- Pay for things in cash and save the loose change in a jug. After many months of this, use it for a surprise $ gift for someone you regularly engage with at the supermarket or Starbucks check out counter. You can always add a note of encouragement and remind them that “Jesus loves you!”
- Buy cheap fun things to give to those you regularly come into contact with (From Walmart, The $ Store, etc.)
- Reduce your spending (just a bit) to free up cash to help someone in financial trouble. Keep an ear open for those who may need car repairs, help with medical bills, or rent or mortgage assistance. If you can’t find these people in your subdivision, chances are they’re your waiters, your cashiers, your admin assistants and others in the service sector (people you rub elbows with at least several times a week).
Margins in Social Interactions
Practice looking outside of your immediate wants and needs to actually see your neighbor.
- Men: Don’t ask close ended questions like “So you doing OK?” Or “You doing good? This just tells the other person you don’t really want to know them. Instead, start with “How are you?” Or “How’s your week been going?” If you’re in your own funk and not feeling social, then just say “Hi.”
- Try to put your phone away when around other people. While on line at the local Starbucks, take the time to observe those near you. Compliment someone if they have a cute kid, a nice shirt or a fluffy dog, or ask them a question about something you see that interests you. Don’t just take up space. Be available for simple conversation.
- You can do the same when you’re taking out the trash or getting the mail, or going to and from your car. Too many people walk with their head down and ignore their neighbor. When you do this, you’re not being neutral-your subtracting! But in a lonely world, your smile and a simple “hello” can make all the difference. And it costs you virtually nothing!
Uplifting Songs
Other Christian-SOS Blogs
Loving My Neighbor in a Post Covid World
Practical giving during a world wide pandemic.
Growing Where You’re Planted
Loving others where you work, play or drink coffee.
Freeing Up Quality Time For The Creator Of The Universe
Why we need prayer time and what to do with it. How to carve out time during our daily routines.