This blog is for those who want to know the scriptural reasons for divorce. It does not explain away the numerous reasons why people get divorced. Nor does it go into the extra biblical remedies that people use to justify or legally nullify a divorce.
Divorce in Almost All Cases Is Sin
Before we launch into Scripture, let’s start with the basics. We live in a fallen world. People make holy covenants that they later realize were mistakes. And then, whether out of lack of faith or perceived necessity, they break these holy covenants. This is SIN. And sin includes “partial” mistakes, lack of knowledge, errant wishful thinking and anything else where we fall short of utter reliance upon God.
When we break a Holy Covenant, it does not matter that one party is much more to blame than the other. Or that one party is a physical abuser and the other an innocent young maiden. Breaking a marriage covenant always equals sin. This sounds very harsh… and it seems so monumentally unfair. But it’s also a spiritual reality. Scripture offers no easy way out here.
So we are left with three choices:
- Obey Scripture
- Disregard Scripture, or
- Twist Scripture to say whatever we want to hear (so we can rest on our own righteousness rather than God’s Holiness and Grace).
What Is a Covenant of Marriage?
In Genesis 2:18–24, God declares it is not good for man to be alone. He then makes a suitable helper for him and ordains that a man leave his father and mother, be joined to his wife, and the two become one flesh, establishing marriage as a unique one-flesh union.
In Malachi 2:14–16, God rebukes husbands who deal treacherously with “the wife of your youth,” calling her “your companion and your wife by covenant.” God then proclaims that He hates divorce, emphasizing that marriage is a covenant relationship God Himself witnesses.
Jesus Teaching on the Marriage Covenant—Marriage is God’s Joining & Not to Be Broken Lightly
In Matthew 19:3–6 (parallel Mark 10:6–9) – Jesus cites Genesis 1 and 2, saying God made them male and female and that a man leaves his parents, is joined to his wife, and the two become one flesh; He concludes, “What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
This nullifies the Old Testament exceptions found in Deuteronomy 24:1, which the rabbinic School of Hillel claimed could allow for other indecencies. At that time, divorce for other indecencies included:
- Poor Cooking: If she burned or over-salted food.
- Appearance: If she lost her attractiveness or he found a younger/more beautiful woman.
- Behavioral/Social Issues: If she was a “noisy woman” (noisy within the house), spoke too openly with other men, went out with her hair loose, or did not keep her vows.
- Religious/Domestic Failings: If she caused her husband to eat food that had not been properly tithed.
Jesus saw through their hard hearts and immediately quashed these errant beliefs. Jesus could have suggested other reasons for divorce. But instead, He offered only one. In Matthew 5:31–32 He states plainly that “anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”
Jesus then shows that the same standard applies to women. In Mark 10:11–12 He says that “whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her, and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”
So the bottom line is that either spouse commits adultery if they divorce for any other reason than their spouse’s sexual immorality.
What Is Sexual Immorality? Is It the Same As Adultery?
The short answer is NO. The word in Scripture is “Pornea” which goes beyond your spouse having sex with someone else.
“Porneia (Strong’s Greek 4202) denotes all forms of sexual activity outside the covenant of marriage as ordained by God between one man and one woman. Its range embraces pre-marital intercourse, prostitution, adultery, homosexual practice, incest, and any other distortion of God’s design for sexuality.”
Based on this definition above, the sexual abuse of children could also qualify. But physcially beating them would not. This is not to say it’s immoral for a spouse to protect their kids or move away from the abuser. Nor is it unblibical to seek legal redress against an abuser. However, there is no New Testament support that these are grounds for divorcing the abuser. Same goes with divorce based on emotional abuse.
Can a Christian Woman Remarry Without Committing Adultery if Her Non-Christian Spouse Abandons Her?
In my view, Scripture is unclear on this matter. And in any event, it only applies in a very specific situation where the abandoning spouse is not a believer.
In 1 Corinthians 7:10 the Apostle Paul says: “To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.”
Paul then goes into what happens if a believing woman marries a non-Christian who then leaves her. In verse 15 he says, “if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.”
So what does “not bound” mean here? It’s unclear if she is free to remarry or not. Perhaps this means only that she is free not to reconcile with him. However, it’s also possible given 7:10 that unbound means she is free to remarry, without such being adultery. But whatever the case, this is not New Testament support for divorce being biblically OK for abandonment in general.
But What About Other Verses in the Old Testament That Imply Divorce Is OK For Lack of Provision or Abuse?
Currently, many books abound on this subject, often citing obscure Old Testament passages to justify divorce. However, we must remember that while all Scripture is God-breathed and instructive, not all Scripture remains in force today. Otherwise, we would still be under all 613 commandments of Levitical law.
Context is king. We can not pick and choose from the Old Testament whenever we’re unhappy with what’s in the New Testament. And here, sexual immorality is the only escape hatch which allows us both to divorce and remarry.
What Does This Mean for People Who Divorced and Remarried When Their Divorce Was Not For Biblical Reasons?
Many people have divorced without a biblical reason and then remarried. And many rightfully wonder if they committed adultery when they remarried. The Biblical answer here is YES. We can’t pretify Scripture to make it say what it clearly doesn’t say. We must have the courage to face this head on.
But this is not the whole answer and it never was. The Bible is filled with God’s Grace and mercy. Scripture even provides for us and guides us when we’ve clearly done wrong!
For example: Scripture prohibits a person from returning to their original spouse when they or their spouse has already remarried another. (Deuteronomy 24:1-4). Scripture even shows God’s grace to people who have had multiple marriages! Don’t believe me? Fine: Let’s talk about the Samaritan woman at the well!
How God Used The Woman At The Well.
In the Gospel of John (4:4–42), Jesus meets a Samaritan woman at Jacob’s well, asks her for a drink despite her being a Samaritan, and then reveals his divine knowledge by referring to her five husbands and current relationship.
So does Jesus condemn her? Does Jesus tell her she never sinned? The answer here to both questions is NO. Jesus did neither. Jesus knew full well she was a sinner. And so did the woman herself.
Jesus was not there to make light of her sin. Nor was he there to condemn her for it. Instead He had something better to offer. He wanted her to recognize He was the Messiah. And that He is the way, the truth and the life. So He lifted up this wretched sinner so she could joyously tell the whole village about His coming. Two thousand years later, this is what we remember her for. Few remember her as a sinner. Rather we rejoice as she rejoiced. We delight in her story because this was a woman who Jesus showed mercy to and to whom Jesus proclaimed His mighty Name.
What was true then is still true now. We are not defined by our past. We are defined by our relationship with Jesus. so let us be like the Samaritan women and constantly rejoice in Him.